The Handy Feeling

The Handy: In-Depth Review of the Automated Male Masturbator

A friend suggested The Handy after hearing about my latest hospital trip. "Don't you think it's time to give up on building your own dick-sucking robot?" he asked. "Maybe leave it to the pros." I'm not one to quit a dream, but as I rubbed ointment on the friction burns, I figured he might have a point.

So I spent a morning checking out TheHandy.com, which sells a high-end masturbation gadget they call "the most advanced sex toy ever created." In adult entertainment, I'm used to every product being labeled groundbreaking, but this one had solid buzz. I needed a new fap toy, so I decided to see what the hype was about.

How The Handy Changes Masturbation

The landing page doesn't hold back: "The sex toy that revolutionizes masturbating" with "guaranteed mind-blowing orgasms." That last part refers to their two-week, no-questions-asked return policy—a rarity in sex toys. Most companies require products to be unused, but The Handy just asks you to send back the entire box except the sleeve. (They'll use it in demos, which is gross but whatever—just don't stick your dick in a demo model.) Shipping and customs run about $25 for US customers.

The company is based in Oslo, working on getting American retailers. Delivery takes up to twelve days to the US. That's a dealbreaker if you want something ASAP while the wife's away. Check the FAQ for restricted countries like Russia, Brazil, and Malaysia.

I noticed a Reddit community link at the bottom of the page. Usually, corporate sex subreddits are ghost towns, but this one has an active international community of thousands of users. That's reassuring if I'm dropping a decent amount on an expensive toy—I can ask those perverts for help.

All About the Automatic Dick Stroker

At $159, The Handy is pricier than a random porn-store sleeve, even with free shipping. What do you get? I watched the three-minute intro video. It's on YouTube (clean, of course). A British-accented guy lists features, starting with control: you, your partner, or an adult movie can operate it.

Honestly, seeing it in action was underwhelming. I expected something like the Kiiroo devices I've reviewed—sleek, streamlined tubes. Instead, The Handy takes a cheap-looking sleeve, wraps Velcro around it for a "one-size-fits-all" fit, and attaches it to a Fleshlight-like base. The sleeve slides up and down the side, so you hold it above, beside, or below your junk, not directly on it like most toys.

Like any good auto-masturbator, you control stroke speed via ten built-in sensors. It also has WiFi and Bluetooth to sync with porn services for teledildonic fun—let a babe across the world stroke you with an app.

Internet-Enhanced Fapping

I was most interested in video syncing, given the so-so design. TheHandy.com partners with providers like Czech VR to enhance viewing. Time to bust out the VR helmet and strap The Handy to your junk for full immersion.

If you're tech-savvy, you can make your own video scripts for favorite scenes. The FAQ links to a growing archive of user scripts, which should expand fast. One thing I like about pricey dick massagers: upgradable firmware and apps. VR porn is just starting (thanks to Oculus Quest 2), and this stuff will only improve.

The device itself is customizable too, but I'm surprised they don't offer more TrueGrip sleeves. Most companies have wider choices, but they claim future compatibility with add-ons.

How Does The Handy Compare?

If you've read my Fleshlight review, you know I'm a fan. The Fleshlight excels at manual stimulation. For twice the cost, The Handy provides intense automated action.

Compared to other auto units, it's subjective. For a bit more, I prefer Kiiroo's device that engulfs your whole dick. Lovense also has a similar option for around $200 (sometimes on sale for $99—check my reviews before spending big).

Ultimately, it's a decent investment, and these things are subjective. One man's wet dream is another's nightmare of horny machinery gone mad. The most appealing thing about TheHandy.com is the money-back guarantee. You're usually out of luck if a self-pleasure device isn't for you, but these guys give real leeway to try it.

My Recommendation

Click through, read the promo, watch the short video, then check user reviews on the site. I don't think they're censoring—there are one- and two-star write-ups, but overall satisfaction seems high. The Handy subreddit is also a good source. If you're still interested after comparing options, the money-back guarantee removes the risk.